settling into my new life...

its been a very busy busy busy few weeks. and i have been meaning to type up my entry for my blog... and single-mommyhood goes i don't really have all that much time to really do something for myself. but i can say that tonight is a night of getting DRUNK ON SILENCE!!! my son has been sleeping in the same room as me for the past 2 freakin' weeks. as much as i love the Buggy boo, i like my face not being karate chopped in the AM.

i have been busy putting in job applications at a ton of places, and knocking things off of the never ending todo list that i have created for myself, adjusting to life back at my parents house for now [saving up money to have a good nest egg under me]

as far as emotions go... I am getting better at just putting it all behind me. some days i want to rip my-X to shreds for what he put me through for years. but then i remind myself as well as getting reminded that he is in his own abuser type of reality, and nothing I can say is going to change that for him. So, I am just going to put everything that I want to say into a blog post for you all to read.

I am actually creating a list of blog titles in my phone that I am slowly going to get to over the next few months. But for now, good night blog-world :)

cleaning out my house & life

So today I had some of my family come and help me clean/get rid of my house. I have to say that I can't figure out if I am emotional about it or not. I think that I am not very emotional about it b/c I know that I still have a very long way to go


[i will finish this up later tonight]

the inSANE moments

So in the last week I have had some very INSANE moments of thinking. And I have found a ton of quotes from twitter that have helped me express how I have been feeling... so here are some of them [I think I might do weekly updates on quotes... we shall see]

L O V E .. L = Lake of Sorrows .. O = Ocean of Tears .. V = Valley of Death .. E = End of life.


In a relationship, I want three things: 1) Eyes that won't cry. 2) Lips that won't lie. 3) and a LOVE that won't die!


Most relationship start with a simple hello, but end with a complicated goodbye.


One day, you're going to wake up and realize how much you cared about me. And when that day comes, I'll be with the guy that already knew.


Sometimes the right person for you was there all along. You just didn't see it because the wrong one was blocking the sight.


All women have beauty, it takes the right man to see it.


It's not hard to find someone who will tell you that they love you. It's hard to find someone that actually means it.


Erasing someone from your mind is so easy but, getting them out of your heart is surely another damn story.


Just because I try not to talk about it does not mean that I am over it, that I feel better, or that I am okay.


I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.


I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be. 


It's weird how one day you feel you'll never be able to live your life without him, & then the next day you're doing exactly that.


.... these are just a few of the quotes that are fully expressing the many emotions that I am going through right now. I know that I will be happy ONE day, but today I just am blah. I am getting a GNO tonight and I can't wait :)

page Number 1

It has been a week since my life has been incredibly altered, and I have finally started to think that I need to blog my life for the next little bit so that way one day that I can look back and see that there is a rainbow after the rain. I'm not going to go into specifics into what the event was that changed my life forever are, but know that my heart got broken into a million and a half pieces and my spirit got a tad bruised. It to over time will heal.